Reagan tells Soviet jokes

Two Russians were walking down the street, one asked the other, “Have we really achieved full communism?” The other said “oh no. Things are about to get worse.”

The Commisar came to the collective farms to see how the harvest was doing and asked a farmer and the farmer said “Oh commrade commisar! If we took all the potatoes, they would reach the foot of God.” “Comrade farmer, this is the Soviet Union. There is no God.” “That’s okay, there are no potatoes.”

In another car incident, Gorbachev was late from getting to the Kremlin from his house. He told the chauffer, “Look we are running late so let me drive. I insist.” So He told the Chaufer to get in the back and he drove. Meanwhile the police were given strict orders to ticket anyone speeding no matter how important. So they were speeding down Moscow and two motorcycle cops pulled them over but didn’t ticket him after he saw who it was. He goes back to the station and talks about it and was asked, “Why didn’t you ticket him? “Too important.” “Who was it?” “I didn’t recognize him, but his driver was Gorbachev!”

Its hard to get an automobile in the soviet union. They are owned mainly by elite bureaucrats. It takes an average of 10 years to get a car. 1 out of 7 families owned automobiles. You have to go through a major process and put the money out in advance. so this man did this and the dealer said “okay in 10 years come get your car.” “Morning or afternoon?” The man replied. “well what difference does it make?” Said the dealer. “The plumber is coming in the morning.”

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